Apologies...

I hurt someone today... someone that means the world to me and is my only reason to keep on everyday and i have no other way to apologize to him besides the obvious sorry's i already told him, not only did i realize i need emotional help(first step of recovery is admitting you have a problem) i also realized it hurts more to hurt the boy i love than hurting myself.

I never talk to anyone about what goes on inside my head most of the times and honestly i dont think anyone wants to know because the first look they get inside my thoughts they'll most likely burst out crying. My biggest problem is my pride and to get over that takes a lot of shit... i make mistakes nd keep them to myself obviously, i know too many things and hold on to them for too many time..i try to run away but my body wont let me, sometimes i try to cry but i cant... my head is a mess most of the time and half of the time when you think im listening maybe im not...I dont mean to hurt you, i never want to hurt you... and if there is a possible way to make you happy nd apologize for all the times i broke down nd brought you down with me that has to be taking care of myself something i'll learn to do over the time im in recovery. I tried so hard to make everyone else smile that i forgot how to smile and i know how bad that hurts you... there is life in me and deep deep down im still your Nessie,happy with a bubbly personality, i just need to find myself again... and there are "bruises" i cant ever erase and im sorry that you have to see it and if I havent yet apologized 50 times i should do it now, im sure at least 20 i already did...

Dean,This One Is For You, Thanks For Never Giving Up On Me...

Epiphanies Of Life 5

Whats up with homophobic people... i honestly cant take any more bitter comments to the gay/lesbian/bisexual nd transgender society , were all equal, we all have the same rights so honestly please tell me when was liking someone from the same gender wrong you twats! Gay people deserve to get married nd have kids, they deserve to live in a good and accepting society(which apparently we dont have!) and whats up with you extreme right assholes and always ruining the gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender fight for their rights... i dont see anyone ruin your fucking meetings...xenophobic bastards. If i could have a magic wish, i'd wish for people to accept the gay society because they're really amazing people and i love them to bits (: Gay Pride Forever (Y)

Ever had one of those days when the people who distract you from having sad feelings are all gone and you have no reasons to smile and you just wanna cry when suddenly you see ex friends and wish sometimes you could join them nd be with them but cant because there is someone in their group who doesnt really talk to you anymore... i dont regret any of my life choices and im not running away but today i got sure of how bad i wanted to go to another school, its what happens when everyone else that keeps you from falling are gone... Makes you wanna start all over again and i think the change will make me good (Y)

I had a interesting day even thought it was a bit sad it still had its high bits , my class had a debate with someone from the immigrant nd intercultural support and it was actually interesting, i got to learn a few things i didnt know about and did you know that if you're part of the european union you can just come into another european union country nd ur not considered an immigrant? all u need is to find a work nd do the normal paper work people from that country do... i didnt know that nd its actually interesting( Deanie blame uk for getting out of the EU :P we'll still make it possible baby) and did you know that after all chinese people arent really more than the portuguese population :O thats actually shocking cos it so looks like they are... There is 4 million portugueses outside of our country which left us with another 10 million to annoy =P anyway enough of strange facts...

Whats up with people that take their phones to the beach... it will die most likely when water kills it xD i think you should either start leaving in ur beach bag or just dont take it at all because if it keeps on till the end of summer, phone shops will get pretty rich...

Whats up with girls that are afraid to talk about sex and ask questions bout it( ye am totally talking bout me O_o) i have no idea why am i so shy about it but im gonna blame my mum for never talking bout sex with me(seriously mum im 17 xD) at least i know about sex unlike girls that dont O_O but honestly "parents" you need to start talking to your kids about it when they reach a certain age or they will most likely never fuck anyone... or turn into bondage porn stars xP...

Whats up with boys that are total twats and treat girls like trash, honestly whats up with that lads?!? are you fucking stupid... no one will ever stay with u for life if you keep like that... soft violence should be only used in bed ;) so stop being such twats nd treat your girl's like princesses because thats what all girls are!!!!!!!

Whats wrong with those fake bitches that never ever ever shut up!?!?! you all look like a fucking CD repeating over nd over... say it once and SHUT THE FUCK UP no one is interested in your dumb thoughts so dont share it(please do that for the sake of society) oh ye and if you ever get the chance to see how fake you really are, if i were you id punch myself(But hard ok, no soft punching, or ill be very glad to give u a second punch if u need it)

Anyway to finish... (cos my husband is impatient about reading this xD) i'll leave you with some websites to check if you wanna help in the fight for gay rights or have questions about ur sexual orientation.

http://www.ilga-portugal.pt/ilga/index.php -> gay/lesbian/bi/transgender intervention in portugal

http://www.jovemgay.com/ -> gay/lesbian/bi/transgender adults and teenagers support

http://www.min-saude.pt/portal/conteudos/linhas/contactos+de+apoio/sexualidade.htm -> gives you information and support and helps in any doubts you might have about sexual orientation, contraceptions,pregnancy, STD's and sexual violence(please fight against sexual violence, its a crime so if youre a victim or suspect someone is, make sure you call the autorities)

Any other doubts and questions about sexual orientation stuff and gay rights don't hesitate to ask (Y)

Epiphanies Of Nessie Volume 5

Love146

"The number pinned to her dress was 146..."
In 2002, the co-founders of Love 146 travelled to South East Asia on an exploratory trip to determine how they could serve in the fight against child sex trafficking. In one experience, a couple of the co-founders were taken undercover with investigators to a brothel, where they witnessed children being sold for sex. This was their experience.

This Is the story of the girl who gave name to the organization told by the president of Love146 and shared by me to you all. So After reading this please check out the website and find out more, the link is already in the things you should check out on the right side of my blog page.

"We found ourselves standing shoulder to shoulder with predators in a small room, looking at little girls through a pane of glass. All of the girls wore red dresses with a number pinned to their dress for identification. They sat, blankly watching cartoons on TV. They were vacant, shells of what a child should be. There was no light in their eyes, no life left. Their light had been taken from them. These children...raped each night... seven, ten, fifteen times every night. They were so young. Thirteen, eleven… it was hard to tell. Sorrow covered their faces with nothingness. Except one girl. One girl who wouldn’t watch the cartoons. Her number was 146. She was looking beyond the glass. She was staring out at us, with a piercing gaze. There was still fight left in her eyes. There was still life left in this girl...

"...All of these emotions begin to wreck you. Break you. It is agony. It is aching. It is grief. It is sorrow. The reaction is intuitive, instinctive. It is visceral. It releases a wailing cry inside of you. It elicits gut-level indignation. It is unbearable. I remember wanting to break through the glass. To take her away from that place. To scoop up as many of them as I could into my arms. To take all of them away. I wanted to break through the glass to tell her to keep fighting. To not give up. To tell her that we were coming for her…"“Because we went in as part of an ongoing, undercover investigation on this particular brothel, we were unable to immediately respond. Evidence had to be collected in order to bring about a raid, and eventually justice on those running the brothel. It is an immensely difficult problem when an immediate response cannot address an emergency. Some time later, there was a raid on this brothel and children were rescued. But the girl who wore #146 was no longer there. We do not know what happened to her, but we will never forget her. She changed the course of all of our lives." -Rob Morris, President and Co-founder
"We have taken her number so that we remember why this all started. So that we must tell her story. It is a number that was pinned to one girl, but that represents the millions enslaved. We wear her number with honor, with sorrow, and with a growing hope. Her story can be a different one for so many more."

You Can make a difference if you help (Y) dont hesitate to ask me about anything you didnt understand... Peace

xx Nessie xx

Epiphanies Of Life 4

Okay Whats up with girls that we all know and that are total bitches and only care about themselves and just to win everyone's love when someone starts crying they go near us and say "im here if you ever need to talk" omg whats up with thatttttt whore(darling we all know everything you do or say is more rehearsed and acted than real, actually i dont even think you're a real person sometimes) but honestly whats up with that, you talk bad about everyone in their backs and then you pretend you're oh so nice well dear i got two words for you... FUCK OFF!

Whats up with divorces, i mean if you know you dont wanna stay together forever or youre not sure of your feelings why marry!? i mean you can like live together and if you ever break up you dont have to pass for the huge work that is to sign papers nd go to court... its actually very sad to see someone divorce, thankfully i wont ever divorce my perfect husband *-*

Dont you just love when suddenly teachers decide that instead of giving a theorical class we should do a group work... its really amazing the only thing that sucks is that i dont understand a thing of what geography teachers want xD

Whats up with parents and deciding things for us that we dont even want, actually whats up with parents... i wudnt no, i am not a mom...

i would let my kids get a form of art in their body thought and i wouldnt make them go anywhere they dont want to go after theyre 16 years old, its honestly sad...

Honestly whats up with siblings...theyre honestly the bigger twats ive ever known, sometimes you just wanna chop them to bits grrrr -.-''

Epiphanies Of Nessie Volume 4

Epiphanies Of Life 3

I think the world should know that acrobatics isn't for everyone, what's up with people that think they know what they're doing and then they place themselves right on top of where your kidney's are, in case you already had a horrible kidney pain(like me) and that might be a very good idea....

Once again whats up with those girls who are total posers and wannabe's, im getting a bit sick of the situation and oh my god didnt u use to be super super fat, i'll give it till summer so you start feeding on cakes and candies again... I dont think you'll make it till september with all that disgusting fatness(maybe you should go to a gym) ye by the way you're not me so quit trying... it's making you look really stupid in the eyes of the good part of society.

I've came across a funny situation the other day, might have been monday while i was enjoying my lunch time with my good friend Tania and what she told me left me a bit intrigued... Whats up with those girls who used to hang out with you when they had no lad but now that they do they make bitter remarks and hang out with the "cool" people who av lads... I have a boyfriend and i dont remember ignoring my friends that dont but oh well must be a thing that only some dumb 18 year old girls do, thats what happens when you're not smart...

Whats up with 21st century english classes? doesnt the world have any good teachers to teach us something that i havent heard yet. English classes are like the most horrible thing to have in a sunny 30ºC morning, Maybe we should start having educational classes outside.

I've been thinking a lot about this... Whats up with those slutty girls who kiss or try to shag a lad that already is engaged or dating other lass... can't they look for other lad to fuck with... maybe my lad is indeed impossible to resist but pleaseeee BACK OFF!!! that's a order not a request, first time i see any of your fucking ugly slutty faces, i'll get you six feet under...

Whats up with lads and not giving importance to virginity...That sucks mate, girls get weird about it...

Whats up with girls and eating bananas this month(Yesss girls i told u at lunch id write about ur new banana obcession) maybe you should try eating cucumbers.... ya know has almost the same shape as a cock too xD

Epiphanies Of Nessie Volume 3

Epiphanies Of Life 2

Okay what's up with those whores you know that keep saying Yay nd pretending to be who they're not nd using that disgusting baby voice of theirs( Pleeeeeeease shoot yourself) nd stop stealing other people's friends and boyfriends, i already knew you were a slut but you shouldnt get new victims to annoy kid maybe you should think of getting ur own life instead of stealing the others life... believe me just because i dont open my mouth to ruin ur fake reputation doesnt mean i wont fucking punch you during break time one day, you killed the sun today with All that fake sweetness(ye btw quit that baby voice it got me deaf with all those high decibels you give it) You make a beautiful sunny day into a very UGLY storm... Ah yes almost forgot PLEASE GET THAT MENTAL HEALTH CHECKED LASS YOU'RE FUCKING CRAZY...

French Can be a very hot and sexual/romantic language but when you had classes for months you start getting a bit tired of it, i mean ye its cool but whats up with all that grammar rules and all those crazy things you have to add so sentences actually make sense... it drives me mad

Whats The matter with kids that spend their life making fun of the others, i mean not everyone is perfect and i'll be the first nd hopefully not the last to admit i am very very very far from perfect but hey at least im original and unique but i dont need people picking on me i already do that all the time so why cant kids be nice to other kids because the situation my class is currently in isnt a pretty situation...

The weather is killing me im afraid to melt one of these afternoons, luckily thursday its gonna rain to satisfy all my dreams...

Isn't it the most amazing thing when you can say your relation with your lad is actually working and you can actually start planning ur future life together... 9 months that took my breath away, 9 months that made me grow up and be a better person, 9 months that made me become the happiest lass alive... 9 months for which i have to thank you for Dean... you are and will always be the perfect lad for me, I Love You

Anyway who would know that you really learn something new everyday, as i learned today with my friend Joana you can indeed eat melted ice creams instead of throwing them to the trash... why not use a straw!! :D

Check It Out ---> http://crepusculoportugal.blogs.sapo.pt/ Go read my friend Joana's blog about twilight... Thats an Order!!!!

Epiphanies Of Nessie Volume 2

Epiphanies Of Life

You Know when you have the weirdest and most bad feeling in the world... well apparently half of what you feel is nothing but waste of time.

Anyway, Some people just never know they're place, some people will never be able to have their own personality without using the others ideas... shall we call that lack of creativity... lately in the past few weeks ive came across persons that used to be part of my life trying to be me maybe i should wear a card saying "Dont Copy" or might just start paying to have my copyright xD.

What's up with those kids you used to know and that you helped when they needed and now everytime they pass thru you they give u evil looks( yes because im very scared of your evil looks)if they have anything to say why not come up and tell... it looks like im back in first grade its either evil looks or hitting the other person which will never happen. But PLEASE quit passing thru me and looking at me like ur the meanest person in school( You're Not... But I Am) i dont give a fuck about your fucking existance... so GET LOST or die, im very sick of your presence in school.

I Never understand whats wrong with girls with a little bit of weight( yes a little bit not a lot), you know lads still like you if you're pretty doesnt matter how much you weight.. i learned that with my boyfriend not that i am fat because im not but well it always sounds nice hearing something like that.

Last but not least WHAT THE FUCK is this new girls obcession with high heels... ffs you kids are fucking 13 nd 14 years old what you need is to grow up not wear high heels... oh nd ye btw stop being such whores its starting to disgust me how much skin you show on a day basis...

Epiphanies Of Nessie Volume 1

"That's What You Get When You Let Your Heart Win"

Heartbroken...

Its one of those days where you wish your life would go back to what it was about 7 or 8 years ago where nothing really mattered, you didnt have to worry about the love of your life being ill or that you need to plan your future very soon.
I've been thinking about writting a new story but this time without being a fan fic, maybe a original story, maybe someone's life seen by my point of view so the others can av a "taste" of someone else's interesting life through a bunch of scribbled pages.

There's not much to do on a wednesday afternoon, not much to say either... not really in the mood but i'll leave you with some cool links to check out x x

http://www.paramore.net/ -> If you like paramore as much as i do (Y)

http://www.mibba.com/-> Stories: For those who want to get started in the world of posting stories, sign up nd read or post ur own stories

http://www.quizilla.com/-> Somewhere where you can do interesting quizzes or read stories

To Write Love On Her Arms

Today Im Gonna Talk About a Non profit movement called "To Write Love On Her Arms" dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also invests directly into treatment and recovery.

Even tho TWLOHA serves as a bridge to help, If you think you need help and cant keep on tell your family or your friends, Im Sure they will be glad to help when you're in need.

If You Wanna Get Involved to help other people or just need help, the link to their website is on the right side of my blog page in the "things you should check" section.

• The vision is that community and hope and help would replace secrets and silence


• The vision is people putting down guns and blades and bottles


• The vision is that we can reduce the suicide rate


• The vision is that we would learn what it means to love our friends, and that we would love ourselves enough to get the help we need.


• The vision is better endings. The vision is the restoration of broken families and broken relationships. The vision is people finding life, finding freedom, finding love. The vision is graduation, a Super Bowl, a wedding, a child, a sunrise. The vision is people becoming incredible parents, people breaking cycles, making changes.


• The vision is the possibility that your best days are ahead.


• The vision is the possibility that we're more loved than we'll ever know


• The vision is hope, and hope is real

You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story.

[This One Is Dedicated To My Husband For Being My Constant Support And For Always Helping Me Find Strenght To Keep On Living]

The Scene Aesthetic

Bem hoje vou partilhar com voces uma das minhas bandas favoritas.

A música deles é acoustic/Indie/pop e eles sao de Seattle, e acho que neste momento estão em tour com os Owl City(banda conhecida pelo seu single fireflies)

Anyway Espero Que gostem tanto como eu :)

http://www.myspace.com/thesceneaesthetic

Welcome =D

Ello!! Bem, é a minha primeira entrada :) devo desde ja dizer que criei este blogue para partilhar todo o tipo de coisas com as pessoas: desde curiosidades, a novas bandas e outras coisas ^^ Anyway espero que gostem x x x

NessinhaROMANCE